I recently received a note from a client I’ve been consulting on a deal with. In it, she brought up an issue I’ve heard from so many people, I thought I’d share her note here.
Dear Brian,
I finally managed to get a meeting with my contact. However, it wasn’t easy — my emails went unanswered, calls ignored, and I only managed to catch him on the phone for one minute before he agreed to meet tomorrow. Should I bring up the lack of response? I feel it’s holding us back, but I’m worried it could impact our negotiation negatively. What’s the best way to handle it?
Sincerely,
Frustrated but Hopeful
Dear Frustrated but Hopeful,
Congratulations on securing that meeting! It sounds like you’ve done the legwork to get things moving, which is no small feat when dealing with a nonresponsive partner. Many of us know the frustration that comes with silence in the middle of a crucial negotiation. But here’s the thing: Silence isn’t always a sign of a dead end. Sometimes, it’s just part of the journey.
Before you let a lack of response sour the mood, here are 5 steps you can take to address it without derailing your momentum . . .
Start by Assuming Neutral Intent
When we’re left hanging, it’s natural to assume there’s a negative reason behind the silence. Maybe they’re not interested, or maybe they don’t see the value. But more often than not, silence is about something else entirely. Perhaps your contact is overwhelmed, has competing priorities, or is managing internal challenges you don’t see. Rather than going into the meeting frustrated, try to assume the best. It’s not about dismissing your feelings, but about preparing for a productive, open conversation.
Keep the Focus on Future Actions
Bringing up lack of responsiveness head-on can create tension, but you can address it indirectly by focusing on next steps. Near the end of the meeting, summarize the key points you discussed. Then, get specific on action items, deadlines, and who’s responsible for what. This isn’t just about good organization — it’s an opportunity to reset expectations around communication.
You might say something like, “I’d like to confirm our next steps to ensure we stay on the same page moving forward.” From there, lay out the actions and timelines. By doing so, you’re reinforcing the importance of clear communication without having to say a word about missed messages.
Tactfully Address Communication Styles
If this contact has a track record of silence, it may be worth bringing up in a gentle, nonconfrontational way. For instance, you could ask, “What’s the best way to stay in touch moving forward? I sent a few emails without responses, so I’d like to make sure I’m reaching you in a way that works best.”
This phrasing accomplishes two things: First, it gives them room to explain without putting them on the spot. Secondly, it shows that you’re willing to adapt your style to match theirs. You’re acknowledging the communication gap, but you’re doing so in a way that emphasizes mutual understanding rather than assigning blame.
Set Up Contingencies
Now that you’ve clarified the preferred communication method, it’s smart to establish a fallback plan. Consider adding, “Thank you for letting me know. Moving forward, I’ll use that method. And if I don’t hear back, should I call you or reach out to someone else?” This suggestion not only builds in a backup plan, but it also helps them recognize their own role in keeping lines of communication open.
Don’t Let It Sidetrack the Big Picture
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, bringing up communication gaps can put someone on the defensive. If your contact gets uneasy or avoids giving a straightforward answer, that’s a signal it may be time to move on. After all, your goal here is to make progress on the negotiation, not get bogged down by their email habits.
If the conversation veers into tense territory, remind yourself of your broader objective. Don’t let minor frustrations take the wheel. Your energy is better spent focusing on what you need to achieve than trying to get perfect responses at every step.
Nonresponsiveness can test anyone’s patience, but it doesn’t have to derail a negotiation. With a mix of flexibility, forward-thinking, and a little tact, you can address it in a way that keeps things moving — and maybe even builds rapport. And who knows? This might be just the conversation they need to realize you’re someone who understands the demands they’re under, which could make all the difference.
Hang in there, and good luck with your meeting!
Cheers,
Brian — aka Mr. Hopeful
We Can Help You Address the Other Party’s Lack of Responsiveness.
It can be frustrating when the other party goes silent in the middle of a crucial negotiation. Rely on Scotwork’s nearly 50 years of experience to help you address it without derailing your momentum.